No Fair!

You know, when you are a missionary you get really used to saying goodbye. It doesn't get easier really; but you do get more used to it. I have tried to have a sort of hard shell around my heart sometimes so I don't keep leaving pieces of it laying around in the places we leave.

One of the hardest goodbyes in our recent history was saying goodbye in Brazil. We didn't know that we weren't returning when we left on our furlough but it was still so hard to leave our dear, dear friends there. When we knew we weren't going back and Joel and I returned to get our things and say goodbye my friends and I decided that there would be no tears this time. I just polished of my old "heart shell" and was able to say goodbye without crying...until the car pulled out of sight of the seminary...I just broke down and couldn't stop the sobs from shaking me.

Another really painful goodbye for our family was saying goodbye to my family when we left the US to come to Malawi last year. It is always hard to say goodbye to my family...whether we are leaving the US, or they have visited us and we are dropping them off at the airport. But this time was of course especially hard because not only were we leaving all of our old time family people like Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Jamie, but a very special new person in our lives...little Michael who entered our family and our hearts during our last furlough. It has been a year and we know that Michael is already a whole year older, but we all get excited when new photos are sent or we hear news of what Michael is doing or saying now. And to be honest, after spending a year and a half living with my sister my kids are having a hard time adjusting to life without their fun Aunt Jamie. Alissa is kicking herself that she didn't discover her love of math until after we left and now she is missing out on some fun math discussions with her aunt that she is never going to have with her poor math challenged mom. And we are really sad that we missed all the fun summer things with Grandma and Grandpa...like garden planting and the big corn freezing day!

Well, all that to say, it just isn't fair that after only one year here in Malawi we have to say goodbye again already. Who would have ever guessed that we could have made such great friends in such a short time. It has never happened to us before so quickly! Now we have just 3 more weeks before we leave Lilongwe to move to Zambia and it is getting hard to think about. Tonight Joshua and Jonathan were pretty quiet when they realized that they only have 2 more soccer classes before we leave. While they love playing soccer, it is mostly the fun of being with their friends that they enjoy most on Tuesdays (their favorite day of the year, they tell me). I am going to miss Tuesdays too! First my bible study with some great ladies who have been so friendly to me over the past year and then soccer class where the moms of the kids enjoy our talking and walking time as much as the kids enjoy their soccer I think! I am going to miss that fellowship a lot!

As we count down to the date of our departure I know that I will make sure the hard shell around my heart is firmly in place again. I hate goodbyes!